My job is hard on me. I can’t complain about the standard problems like co-workers, pay, or the work itself, but at the end of the day I’m always completely over it. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I don’t like my job, even though I can’t complain about it, and I realized that it leaves me completely drained every single time.
My job is to talk to people. I usually don’t mind talking, but as some of you know, it’s definitely not my strongest suit. Part of why I like the work is the personal challenge of being social with strangers. It forces me out of my comfort zone and allows me to actively work on my weaknesses. In the process of discovering why the job is so hard on me, I realized quickly that the challenge of talking to people all day was extremely draining, but I still couldn’t figure out exactly why.
Recently, I was bouncing insight with my fellow poor righteous teacher P, and he laid it out for me clear as day. It’s not being overly sociable that’s draining me, but I was right when I identified talking as the root of the problem. All day I’m giving people my energy. People come in, they take my energy, my help, and they leave. At the end of the day I simply have no energy left because I’ve given it all away without receiving any in return.
It’s a relief to finally understand what’s happening to me week in and week out, but I haven’t quite figured out how to act on this discovery. What I do know is that it’s extremely important for your work to replenish your energy because it’s such a major part of your life. Being drained without personal replenishment is no way to live.
January 18, 2009 at 11:42 pm |
Having done your job for a season myself I have to say I felt the same way about the positive parts of it and the fact that I interacted differently when I was selling things to people than I do normally. I miss that actually. It’s fun. But I was never really drained by it. I guess I got that energy you’re talking about out of helping the shop do a good number, and hopefully getting people onto stuff they’d enjoy, and talking all day about stuff I’m personally interested in doesn’t take much energy, though it sure as hell took a lot of bottled water.
But that gets me thinking about my present situation. I’m tired a lot lately and I’ve stopped eating gluten (or rather greatly lowered my intake) because I remember when I didn’t eat bread or pasta I wasn’t tired all the time, and glutens have that effect on some people. But then maybe it’s just what I’m doing. I spend every day pouring everything I have into what I’m studying, exerting literally ten times the effort I did earning my BA, to try to get as much information into my head as possible. And there isn’t any payoff aside from knowing a lot about things that aren’t practically useful to me yet, interesting or not. I am not sure how to derive energy from that. Putting it to use, maybe, but how, I wonder.
January 19, 2009 at 6:28 pm |
http://flickr.com/photos/vancouverdoug/3211294846/
January 19, 2009 at 6:34 pm |
this one is dope too
http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg304/thumphoto/January2009054-1.jpg
sorry to spam ya comments.
January 20, 2009 at 1:45 am |
JD: I see a lot of the people around me at work who get that energy in various ways, including the ones you mentioned. The problem is, I just don’t. I don’t feed off of people in this type of situation.
The answer to your second question is: Breaking me out once things get wild.
DB: D-D-Damn. No apology necessary.
January 20, 2009 at 5:30 pm |
I’m sure we’ve done this before, but I certainly know the feeling… as I’m sure you’re aware. I try to only bring myself to the table, not more or less, not trying to sell things, just providing information and a friendly demeanor. But then you have to sell, and the relationship changes because above you are people with demands, and below you are people with different demands and a wary eye for the demands from above… if that makes sense at all. People don’t like being sold things. They don’t like people invading their time with demands. I just don’t like pushing things on people because I hate it when it’s done to me. If I want something, I’ll ask for it, I don’t want it pushed in front of me… unless its a beer because I certainly dont have the will power to say no to a free beer.
I don’t like wasting my own time either, and when the opportunity cost of what you’re doing compares very directly with something you’d rather be doing… IE taking really uncreative pictures of people skiing when you yourself could be skiing… it seems very apparent that your time is being wasted. You could be finding real stories, but you get sucked into the same stupid conversation all day it just seems so obvious that you should be doing anything else right then. Maybe it’s just me.
January 20, 2009 at 5:32 pm |
and wheres that photo from… its boggin fantastic.
January 22, 2009 at 3:25 pm |
Josh that was very well put, considering its kind of a tough idea to get across clearly. The shot is mine, took it in Arizona. Not sure whether the location is Navajo or Hopi reservation, but it’s one of the two.
January 22, 2009 at 4:29 pm |
Amazing man… the desert has a lot to offer a camera. If you do come down for burning man I’ll likely be here in Tahoe… we should make some adventure happen.
January 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm |
Every time.